One Showered 'n' Deflowered Blind Vice What did we say last week, that H-town’s full of nervous Nellies too ‘fraid to come outta the closet? Yep, that’s what we declared. And now, darlings, we’ve got Chumpy "Shepp" Impaled to prove it. Poor thing, he just doesn’t have any idea whatsoever he’s helping us with our little goss class project. Too bad. Now, Chumpy’s not predictably handsome, but he is—we assure you—wholly doable in the sack (not that many folks would know, really). Terribly shy and certainly not out, this lad is. Kinda dorky, too. But like, girlfriends, when you nuzzle that boy’s neck and work the tasty dough down below just right, this baby’s slightly pudgy cookies are yours for the taking, trust! Case in point: A terribly untrustworthy journalist, who shall remain nameless in this already anon tally of salaciousness, befriended CSI at a fairly small but awfully popular Hell-Ay gym. Chump-babe and the journo—let’s call him Schlong Wad, just for good measure—befriended each other in—get this—the showers. How romantic, eh? Let’s leave the dropped-soap analogies (they’re unnecessary, just read on) and mosey on over to the most fascinating fact. It’s that Chumpy, known for his lovable character work on the boob-tube, had never before had sex with a dude, though he’d always been curious. Oh, who the hell isn’t? (Shut up right now, B. Pitt, we so know you are.) Next thing ya know, Schlong’s workin’ overtime with the compliments on Red’s many talents, which are, to be true, average. What a fabulous actor! How handsome! Such a gorgeous smile! All this poopy-cock that you chicks have been seein’ through for centuries, but Chump nevertheless totally bit, pickup line and sinker. Right into S.W.’s Hollywood Hills digs and onto Mr. Wad’s mattress, which is precisely where Chumpy found out what it’s like to be the pea in Wad’s pod. Ouch! But Yum-O, declared Chumpy, like some sort of Rachael Ray orgasmic new naughty discovery. Such the shame that Wad, prick he be, is busy telling everybody he can. And It Ain't David Schwimmer, Kevin Collony or Jimmy Kimmel Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: The use of Red and CSI makes it seem like he's talking about Horacio Cain himself... but isn't he a little long in the tooth to start experimenting?

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which music manager with debts around town might want to pay up before his creditors go to the gossip columns with all the details of his secret S&M lifestyle? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: The only manager that popped into my head was Benny Medina

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which TV vixen, based in L.A., spent a lot of the writers' strike downtime in New York City? Word is that she was cheating on her boyfriend with her girlfriend. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Grey's Anatomy's Sara Ramirez

"BLIND ITEM COMBO" Blind Item #1: She is the relative of a famous celebrity, her whole identity is based on his past accomplishments and she is known in black communities. She pimps her blood line for all it's worth although it's not worth much anymore. She used her pedigree to date celebrity men, mainly pro ballers and rappers. These men hit it and quit it, she was devastated. She was always a recreational drinker but over the last 3-4 years her drinking has gotten out of control. This once good looking woman has a swollen face and blood shot eyes and always reeks of alcohol. She has become a spectacle and can been seen staggering all over Hollywood when she's not driving under the influence. She can guzzle the juice straight with no chaser. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Arnelle Simpson (OJ's eldest daughter) Blind Item #2: Over the years, some rappers fall off or they leave rap intentionally. This rapper falls in one of those categories. The real reason he became ghost? Two of his friends were murdered over an extortion deal gone bad and he feared for his life by assuming he was the target of a murder contract. He hid low until he became assured the coast was clear and then he reappeared just as mysteriously as he disappeared from public view. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Eminem -who has gone AWOL of late or Ja Rule

Vin Diesel was on location filming The Fast & The Furious 4 yesterday. Sigh. Oh and I am not on crack, as someone so rudely suggested. Clearly you can't do the math: Bald Head+Great Hands+Sexy Voice=Perfection Vin Diesel = Bald head+Great Hands+Sexy Voice Therefore, Vin Diesel = Perfection They taught us that equation in grade 9 math class. Clearly you must of skipped.

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According to Britain's Daily Mail, Michael Gambon, the actor who currently plays Albus Dumbledore in the Harry Potter film series has found himself in a bit of the love triangle. Gambon, who has been married to Lady Anne Gambon for 45 years, knocked up set designers Philippa Hart and she gave birth to his kid last year. Gambon isn't leaving the wife though. And both women appear to be comfortable with the situation. Michael is lucky, because if he had been married to me, he would have been the 2nd actor playing Dumbledore to die during production.

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Which teen mag editor gets his cover girls by always having a bag of blow on him? Apparently, the former dealer has used his white, powdery ways to lure many a young starlet into photo shoots ? and to hang out with him afterward. Gossip Wrap-Guess: This would involve me reading the mastheads of a bunch of teen magazines, I tried Google but I've got to go to work....

Don't shoot the messenger Which U.S. senator, currently applying for another job, slipped on the waxed marble floors rushing to a vote and inadvertently grabbed both breasts of a female Capitol police officer, according to a story she's been telling around the Hill? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Both breasts? Me thinks only an older guy would be so lame, Senator John McCain.

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Eggs in Public: at an Oscar party on Sunday night, he's been drinking, she's been nagging. Turns into a huge, embarrassingly loud argument about the most personal of matters: she wants babies, he doesn't, and they proceed to yell at each other about it in front of a large audience. Update (February 27, 2008): Not Eva Longoria Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: This ones a little too blind. Unless Eggs is a clue, it could be anyone. I DON'T THINK it is Flockheart and Ford, Garner and Affleck, or Clooney and his paid escort.... Well I was wrong, and Cheergrl0808 called it on the 27th, BEFORE Lainey's reveal. Calista Flockheart wants Harrison Fords babies. If she wants more kids, what is she waiting for? the guy is practically 70 years old, she's over 40. If he doesn't want to give them to her now, she should find some else, or wait a couple of more years until his dementia sets in?

No Looking, No Talking, No Breathing Diva antics are rather pedestrian these days so it takes a super bitch and her ass attitude to really push the envelope. A photo shoot with a major artist. Much is riding on her new project. Everyone is busting their balls to make her look good. But it’s hard with these instructions: Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and … don’t even breathe in her direction. Don’t breathe in her direction! Worse still – not sure if you know what it’s like at a photo shoot but the lighting, the set, the hair, the makeup, the equipment, it can all get pretty technical, especially for someone this important. Unfortunately, she couldn’t pose with people standing around. Girl has filled stadiums and she can’t have her photo taken with a room full of staff? Please. So after lining up every shot, everyone but the photographer had to leave the room. Needless to say, things need tweaking from minute to minute. Literally, he would take one frame and have to call out to bring someone back in for an adjustment before moving on. Imagine – every move required another callback to have someone else run in to make a quick fix only to dash back out. Needless to say, this extended the shoot time exponentially. And under those conditions, people are not going to be inspired to put out their best work. Why is this such a mystery anyway? The nicer you are, the nicer you get back! Is it so hard? Is is physically difficult to be nice? And seriously…who is she anymore anyway? She needs it more than they do. The way she’s acting though, she’ll be staring another failure straight in the face. Update (February 27, 2008): Katherine Heigl, not Jennifer Lopez, not Madonna. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Has Janet Jackson lost her mind?! (I know it sounds like Madonna and the Steven Miesel/Vanity Fair shoot, but Lainey loves Madonna too much, and if Madonna can pose naked on a Florida highway...)

Beyoncé isn't about to let Rihanna win the hair style war, so Bey revealed a new 'do walking on the streets of NYC the other night. A blond wig ... Beyoncé's such a risk taker.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which recently single actor, who may or may not be mentioned on this page, was celebrating Oscar night by grabbing any woman who walked by and enjoying a big old joint in the corner of the party? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Sean Penn, who was there with Petra Nemcova

Jusk Asking WHICH gossipeuse is about to get the ax? She probably should have told her bosses she was shooting a reality show before just going out and doing it on the sly . . . Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: This should be an easy one. Will see if I can figure it out.

So I'm having a little tiff with Victoria over at The Guys From Love Hate/Miami Ink Blog. Missy doesn't take my threats seriously. She had the nerve to go off topic and post on my MARK VINCENT today. So I am countering the only way I know how. It is my goal to educate the masses on the loveliness that is Vin Diesel. Here are some important facts about Vin Diesel that you should all know:

1. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives." 2. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. F&ck you, team. 3. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. 4. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. 5. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself. 6. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

To learn more about Vin Diesel please visit The Vin Diesel Fact Page.

@Victoria, if your going to post on Vin Diesel show him the respect he deserves. :P

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Don't Shoot The Messenger Which Oscars golden girl made her celebrity ex-boyfriend pretend to still be in a relationship with her months after they broke up, because she was afraid a split would look bad for her Academy Award campaign? It worked, and they discreetly separated months later. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: How old is this blind? Julia Roberts in 2000 with Benjamin Bratt.

BLIND ITEM: "A TASTE FOR THE CHOCOLATE IN THE DARK" When this non-black, non-white actor was struggling, he openly paraded his beautiful black girlfriend all over Hollywood. She was also famous before her career hit the skids. They were a striking couple and he was a nice guy. Her behavior was the reason the relationship ended. Soon after, he got a TV gig that pays him in the neighborhood of $200,000 per month. His show is one of the most popular shows on television. Over the past few years, he has had an assortment of beautiful girlfriends and he even had a live-in relationship. All of these women were the same ethnicity as him. But, he still can't control his attraction for black women. Few people know, despite having a girlfriend, he allegedly had several sexual encounters with a very popular black woman, who-like several other women in the industry (of different races), is mainly known for her sexcapades. He's been informed that she's considering putting him on blast because she feels-he only wants her for sex, never takes her out in public and goes out of his way to hide her from the public! He's worried on how this will affect his current relationship with his girlfriend and network executives. Regardless, it will happen again because he can't seem to control his compulsion for black women. This actor doesn't seem like a nice guy anymore. When he was starving, he had no problem flaunting black women on his arm but since he achieved success. He now creeps with black women on the low. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: CSI Miami's Adam Rodriguez

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8:00pm - ABC is starting it's coverage. So now I have to sit through this again! KILL.ME.NOW. Regis Philbin? He's still alive?!!! Let's hope when it's edited, the red carpet goes better.

7:52pm - Unfortunately the photo agencies aren't as fast as television. Celebrities are making me lose my sh*t. Jennifer Garner and her pouty poses are laughable, she keeps opening her mouth like she's about to receive cock. Katherine Heigl probably thought she would be one of the few in red. EVERYONE is wearing red. So much for standing out bitch. Viggo Mortensen, sexy beast. Ellen Page is confused. I don't think she gets the red carpet thing. It's not a bad thing, but why does she keep dressing like she'll be on the L Word next season. She cute kid though. But she's butcher than Rosie.

Anne Hathaway looks upset. She should be. This is what 85 should look like. Love Ruby Dee, I hope she wins.

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7:42pm - Sissy Spacek in Maggie Norris, looks great and age appropriate. Jeannie is interviewing Colin Farell he washed his hair, looks good. His mom is beautiful. 7:40pm - They just flashed on Colin Farell! He needs a hair cut. Now they're interviewing Norm Jewison! Love him, the first project I ever worked on was The Hurricane, definitely gave me the wrong impression about the industry, most folks aren't as great as him. 7:37pm - Hating the red carpet coverage. Love Gary Busey though (more on that later). I am seriously reminiscing for the days when Tyra Banks hosted the red carpet. I'd give my last dollar to hear Tyra say "Gurl who you wearin'?' Instead I'm stuck with Ryan Seacrest and Ben Mulroney and Jeannie Becker and a bunch of shell shocked celebrities. Why is no one coherent tonight.... Is King of the Hill on. Nope Nascar. It's lose lose no matter what. I love this stance. My god she's atrocious. This is how Valentino goes out? 7:25pm - Jeanne Becker is interviewing Jessica Alba, she's actually smiling and looks happy. Since she can't act, it must be geniune. She needs to stay pregnant. She looked gorgeous too. 7:20pm - oh god, Ryan Seacrest is talking to Miley Cyrus. Those f7cking teeth are going to give me nightmares. Why is she there anyway. Wasn't it a concert movie? Her mom totally is Dina 2. I guess her publicist and manager read her the riot act, because she is dressed far more appropriately tonight. This doesn't work from any angle.

7:10pm -I've fallen in love with Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, even with his jacked up hair style. 7:09pm - Oh dear. Cojo is Canadian, so I'm going to give him a pass.7:01pm - My god someone please talk to John Travolta about that hair! And I could careless how popular she is Miley Cyrus is not cute as a button. Who the hell did her teeth, she can't even close her damn mouth.

6:55 pm - Can someone tell me how Ryan Seacrest has a job. My God, he's boring as hell. The Canadian coverage isn't much better. Ryan's poorer and more hair challenged cousin Ben Mulroney (that's got to be a toupee!) is pissing me off to no end. Poor Jeannie Becker -the Fashion Television veteran is probably cursing the day that CTV bought ChumCity, forcing her to work with this boob. On a plus note, Elaine Lui (LaineyGossip.com) looks incredible! And is doing a fabulous job, she should be on the red carpet.

6:10pm - The only thing about this photo that brings me joy is that she looks like ass. I can't wait for award season to be over, so my George can come to his senses.6:05pm - First to arrive, Heidi Klum (and hubby Seal) looked stunning. She's barely an actress, so it's not fair that she looks so good.

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Which recently rehabbed actress has been sneaking around with other ladies for years, explaining why her onscreen chemistry with her male leads is always so limp? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Lindsay Lohan (and rumored Paris Hilton ex -which is the real reason they hate each other).

Don't shoot the messenger Which Oscar-nominated actress is notorious for accepting multiple gowns for consideration from designers ? then returning the empty boxes with tissue paper, but keeping the dresses? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Salma Hayek (no clue why I chose her but she was the first name who popped into my head because she has been to the Oscars each year for the past 6 or so, whether nominated or not).

This is definitely the weekend for Awards in Hollywood. Yesterday the Film Independent's Spirit Awards were handed out. Some of the winners were:

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Lindsay Lohan and Eddie Murphy swept the 2008 Golden Raspberry Awards. The pair were crowned the Worst Actors of 2007 at the Razzies, for their roles in Norbit and I Know Who Killed Me respectively. Here is the complete list of Razzie Winners: Worst film: I Know Who Killed Me Worst actor: Murphy in Norbit Worst actress (tie): Lohan as twin sisters Aubrey and Dakota in I Know Who Killed Me Worst supporting actress: Murphy in Norbit Worst supporting actor: Murphy in Norbit Worst screen couple: Lohan & Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me Worst remake or rip-off: I Know Who Killed Me, based on several films Worst prequel or sequel: Daddy Day Camp Worst director: Chris Siverston for I Know Who Killed Me Worst screenplay: Jeffrey Hammond for I Know Who Killed Me Worst excuse for a horror movie (New Category): I Know Who Killed Me I am actually surprised Lindsay Lohan didn't show up for these awards. My God, think of the press she would have gotten, but this time for actually doing something! I'll say it again, she needs better people.

Patrick Dempsey and Donatella Versace at the Versace Show in Milan. Unlike fine wine, she is not getting better with age.

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JLo and Marc Anthony gave birth early this morning . It's a boy and a girl. Was that a surprise to anyone? They're "over the moon"...yada yada. Congrats. Yawn.

Don't shoot the messenger Which member of the Black Enterprise "Top 25 Hollywood Money Makers," whose sexuality long has been in question by fans, was seen trying not to be seen with a same sex pal at an L.A. restaurant Wednesday evening? "They were trying not to look like they were together, but they looked together," says a witness. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: I think they need to narrow it down little. Could be: Will Smith, Eddie Murphy, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Jamie Foxx but I'm going for Tyler Perry.

One Do Not Go There Blind Vice Yep, it’s yet another fagola Blind tale. Get used to it, is all I have say—this town’s friggin’ filled to the brim with boy-lovin’ boys who don’t exactly want the world to know that’s how they swing. Except perhaps when their sexuality supposedly prevents them from employment. Take the case with Cress Finesse, one of those hybrid dudes who does it all at one of the studios, including directing films known for their mucho classy ambition. Howev, Cress’ deal (C.F. has other gigs elsewhere, to be sure) was not picked up at that par-tick place of employment. Understandably, this did not please Cress. In fact, Cress, a handsome enough guy who knows his way around fine-tuning his appearance, felt especially uglied by the unfortunate sitch. So much so that Mr. F went to the powers that be who dismissed him and threatened legal action—sexual-orientation discrimination, to be exact—for not picking up the big entertainment deal at hand. Cress’ employers were more than taken aback. They claimed they just wanted to start moving in a "different direction" than the type of work Cress was famous for. But both parties knew the score: C.F.’s frolicking—and sometimes messy—bedroom habits did play a part in the end. It remained a fella fact the studio higher-ups just weren’t too kosher with, such fools. And even though the reticent execs never thought C.F. would follow through suitwise, they did settle. Which pleased Cress enormously. So would he have sued? Prolly. After all, Cress is getting on a bit. He’s growing tired of the facade. Gosh, must be the only homo in town who is. And it ain't Ron Howard, Mel Gibson or Daniel Futterman Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: How about Peter Berg (The Rundown, The Kingdom)

BLIND ITEM: "GAY DENIAL" This black male celebrity hates being gay. He refuses to identify with being gay despite having sex with men. His explanation, "Yes, I sleep with men and I prefer men but I am not gay because I am the top." According to friends, he has entertained thoughts of suicide and at one time he consulted a therapist, trying to get "cured," of his gay urges, to no avail. Friends also say, he complains that straight porn doesn't arouse him at all but gay porn turns him on completely. Friends say, one night they surprised him with a female groupie. She left the room quickly, allegedly, our celebrity could not get aroused to have sex with her. At the top of his game, he had his pick of the finest men on the planet. Male models, famous jocks, etc., but since he fell off, he's upset that he can no longer pull the cream of the crop, instead, he's left to frolic with "low rent" call boys. He was once in a relationship but after his career hit the skids, his boyfriend bolted. Our celebrity is suffering from major depression because of his stalled career and his sexuality. He has become belligerent and unapproachable which is not helping his career. There is no hint of femininity in his appearance and mannerisms. He is a step away from has been status. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: This one is too easy. Busta Rhymes. And if Maya 'nots' him, I'm still calling him gay (Busta has been dipping in Toronto!)

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Will Smith showed their support for Jada Pinkett Smith who was honored by Essence Magazine at the Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon. Forget about the Cruise/Holmes sighting. I'm even going to let it pass that Katie doesn't have dead eyes in this photo -either she's happy to be around "Big Willy" or she went shopping that morning. But why is Essence honoring Jada? How does being married to Hollywood's biggest star qualify you for an award? Exactly what does Jada do anyways. BTW, it's a sad day when Tom looks more hetero than Will, and he's the one in a lilac tie.

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Between Kim Vo and Britney and Ken Paves and all of his clients, I'm going to kill myself. Please take a moment to look at her hair. I think she and the hair stylist were doing lines together and in their elevated state, they thought this was brilliant. Ringlets?!! Two ringlets?!! What's f&king killing me is her stance. Girlfriend thinks she's working it. Then again, Lindsay hasn't worked in a while, so it's easy to understand her confusion.

WHICH pop diva goes to great lengths to keep her entire body glowing? When she spray-tans, she demands her nether regions get the treatment as well . . . Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Christina Aguliar -this woman has a problem with make-up. WHICH producer who's well known for his voracious appetite for women has a funny modus operandi? He asks actresses seeking roles to come up to his hotel suite, then excuses himself to go use the restroom and comes back wearing only a robe? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Harvey Weinstein

Gay But Broke UPDATE: it's NOT the Rock. Heterosexually attached for a long, long time, he recently faced his inner gay and admitted the truth. His partner apparently took it well. As well as any woman can under the circumstances. She felt much better when she found out how much of the bank account she was entitled to. And given that he was the one walking, and he is the one who’s famous, he’s also the one who has to pay. A lot. So now he’s broke – relatively speaking. In Hollywood terms, I mean. Lost his job, no work on the horizon, he seriously considered coming out as a way of “reinventing his image”, not for gay rights but because he needs the money. Only problem is, he was told over and over again that “no one will care if you’re gay”. On the flipside, a fake Hollywood romance with a famewhore like Denise Richards for example won’t fly either since the ex will flip her sh*t and out her himself, preferring to be passed over for a mo over another woman. Me too! He was encouraged to do Dancing with the Stars but pride got in the way. If things don’t turn around, it’ll be a last resort next season. Update (2/21/2008): Not Brendan Frasier, Matt LeBlanc or David Hasslehoff (I don't know why anyone would think it was these guys, they all had prenups) Update (02/28/2008): Not Vin Diesel -Seriously, who suggested my love Vin Diesel? He's been working steadily for years, so he's definitely not broke. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Sorry it's been a long day with work and I just discovered Lainey's Blind. I usually find Lainey's Blinds easy, but this one is tough. I don't think the person was married, just cohabitating. And I think this is probably a TV star (I say this because all the movie stars I thought fit this blind are working according to IMBD). I will sleep on it and hopefully have an answer in the morning.

England showcased the best music they have to offer tonight with the 2008 Brit Awards. Rihanna showed up looking less than spectacular....Then I saw Kelly Rowland's foolish dress. People need to stop putting feathers on dresses it usually works on the catwalk, but rarely on the red carpet. I still don't get Kylie Minogue's popularity. Kudos to the gays for keeping this girl in the money. Future US pop star? Leona Lewis. I hate her shoes though. For some reason I just stared at this picture. The Osbournes are rather freakish, though Kelly looks good...I think...

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According to Tampa Bay Online, another Scientology critic has taken his own life. Shawn Lonsdale, who was a local (Tampa Bay) critic of the Church of Scientology, died of an apparent suicide at his Clearwater home this past weekend. He was 39. There was no sign of foul play, said Clearwater police spokeswoman Elizabeth Daly-Watts. Police found the body about 12:30 p.m. Saturday after neighbors complained of a pungent smell coming from the home Lonsdale rented at 510 N. Lincoln Ave. Authorities found a garden hose running from the exhaust pipe of Lonsdale's car to the home. They also found what is thought to be a suicide note, Daly-Watts said. The contents of the note won't be released until the case is closed. Lonsdale became a public nemesis of the church in 2006 when he began videotaping outside its downtown Clearwater offices, the church's spiritual headquarters. He often stood next to a sign that said, "Cult Watch. Now Filming!" His video footage showed Scientology workers taking out the garbage, walking in downtown Clearwater and at a festival. He also filmed interactions with church security guards and Scientology staff members who quarreled with him on the street. Lonsdale aired the footage on a local public-access cable channel. For anyone who expressed interest, he directed them to the church's secret and expensive teachings posted by critics on the Internet, free. Scientology spokeswoman Pat Harney called Lonsdale's apparent suicide "awful." "It's just unfortunate anybody feels they have to go to that length," she said Tuesday. I think she was referring to Lonsdale suicide and not the Church.... Seriously, this is the second person critical of the Church of Scientology to "suicide" themselves in the past year. And if my memory serves me correct there have been a few others over the years -the mob should have such luck. This means that either depressed suicidal people tend to attack the Church, or once they get their "Ethics" into you, you're screwed.

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Don't Shoot the Messenger Which DUI-ed director/actor - goes this ridiculous but too-good-not-to-share story doing the rounds in Hollywood - wears a fake nose to avoid being recognized in public? It is said he lends it to his closeted actor buddy, who wears it when trawling for men. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: At first I thought Mel Gibson, but somehow I can't see the ultra religious and Catholic Mel having too many closeted friends. I also can't see him helping them out that way...

BLIND ITEM: "MAGIC & MADNESS" You can't deny his talent but this black male celebrity also has a very dark soul. He's kinky and bizarre to say the least. Call girls have said, "He's even too freaky and deviate for us."His favorite fetish: Spreading peanut butter on the backside of call girls and slowly licking it off. He also dons a leather mask on occasion and thinks of himself as the ultimate slave master as he barks out orders while slapping women around. Foreplay consists of forced sex (rape) videos. His manhood is considered extreme by sex workers and he sometimes he uses it as a weapon with violent sex acts. Ladies of the evening have complained, "He leaves us so sore, I can barely walk for a few days after being with him." If that's not enough, the sex industry is buzzing that he has just constructed a dungeon in his mansion where he can hoist women up and humiliate them before raping them. With each call girl encounter, he's becoming more brutal and unpredictable. He can't use the excuse of being high on drugs and alcohol (even though he indulges on an irregular basis) he's just crazy behind closed doors with a taste for the bizarre and deviance. Hints: Extremely well known by blacks and whites. Not Michael Jackson or Will Smith. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Tiger Woods -only because of the frequent mention of prostitutes or Kobe Bryant.

Don't Shoot the Messenger The sobriety of which troubled starlet probably isn't being helped by the fact that her uncle deals weed out of the spare room in her mom's house? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Lindsay Lohan? What's with that family?

Just Asking WHICH D-list TV star, who's famous for getting paid to party, distracts skirted ladies by pouring liquor down their throats as he gropes them? . . . Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Brody Jenner WHICH fashion designer is lying to her actor beau? While she proclaims her love for her man, New York insiders say she really prefers "butch Mexican and Latino women" . . . Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Kimora Lee Simmons WHICH sweetheart Oscar winner doesn't always have a heart as golden as her locks? She's known for introducing her best friend for 10 years as "my assistant" when around other Hollywood types. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Reese Witherspoon

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Just Asking? WHICH recently divorced fashion editor is rumored to be spending more time in Los Angeles these days? Word is she's taken up with the recently jailed Kiefer Sutherland . . . WHICH movie star recently suffered a miscarriage? The heartbroken actress is now talking about adopting. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Angelina? Gweneth?

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No these aren't photos from a Herpes Convention (if so Paris Hilton would be there). Jay-Z and baller Jason Kidd show they're down with Roc (and the Valtrex) at Jay-Z and LeBron James’ Two Kings Dinner last night in New Orleans. Funny enough, the other half of the Valtrex equation, Beyonce and Jason's ex Gabrielle Union looked lovely. I can't really stand how beautiful Beyonce looks in this photo. I'd concentrate on her ugly shoes, but they're so chunky that they make her legs look slimmer, making me hate her all the more.

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Having a bit of a freak out here. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a huge Miami Ink fan. So one half of the hottest duo on television was in Toronto last month and I am only hearing about it now. Miami Ink's Chris Nunez was in Toronto to appear on The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos and at a local club. Fortunately the CBC has put the entire segment up on George's site. Click here to lust after Nunez being interviewed by George.

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Which TV and big-screen star has been such a pain in the (bleep) at photo shoots that stylists and mag editors are refusing to work with her? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Katherine Heigl Which songstress pal of an Academy Award-winning actor is running around L.A. telling folks her friend is living on the down-low? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Actor: Jamie Foxx, songstress: ??

Yes we all hate her, but we hated her before she married Paul. Is it her fault the guy tried to turn a ho into a housewife? It's been reported that Heather Mills will be getting a divorce settlement of 20 million pounds upfront and 2.5 millions pounds a year until their kid turns 18. Not a bad return on investment for a 4 year relationship. Before we all go and crucify the woman, lets give her props. Seriously, we all knew what she was, and what she was doing. Hell even Paul McCartney's kids figured it out. He's the idiot here. So he loses a few million? He's worth 1.2 billion pounds! His divorce settlement is chump change. More importantly he did win this one, Mills has to sign a non disclosure agreement. She can't discuss the marriage or the divorce with anyone, meaning that we won't be subjected to anymore of her insane rants on the telly. It's a win-win all around!

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Wearing an old wig she found while rummaging through Beyoncé's garbage and a make-up job that Lil Kim is practicing in the mirror as we speak, Tyra Banks covers Entertainment Weekly. I've to give Ms. Banks credit though, for someone with such an awful personality, she knows how to make a buck. America's Next Top Model premieres this week on the CW and on CityTv here in Toronto.

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This famous lesbian movie star is successful and very popular but she's afraid to come out of the closet. She has too many conservative fans and bosses who have no idea she's gay. She quietly lives with her girlfriend but once in awhile she can't resist hitting the lesbian clubs. Recently she was seen at a once-a-month after hours sex club for women where anything goes. And it did. Her highly recognizable face was the TALK of the orgiastic femmes.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which rival young actresses on the same hit show are forced to pose together at PR events, even though they hate each other? One resents the other for having knocked her off her "star of the show" pedestal. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Gossip Girls Blake Lively and Leighton Meester (but they are co-stars with Blake getting way more press).

BLIND ITEM: "RICH MEN" 02/12/2008 Her personal life was mostly discreet until now!

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Sports Illustrated revealed their Swimsuit Edition with model Marisa Miller on the cover. Is it me or is this chick weathered looking? SI Swimsuit Edition cover models used to look fresh faced. Poor thing looks like she spent too much time in the sun. She looks even worse without all the air brushing.

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Don't Shoot The Messenger Which recent mom is already bored with her new accessory? Despite pimping herself out to the celebrity mags as a loving parent, she is constantly finding reasons to leave the baby and "escape." Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: "escape"? As in Sweet Escape, but Stefani is hardly a new mom. I'm thinking Milla Jovovich of Resident Evil fame.

it's Tuesday. Miami Ink's Chris Nunez at Nicole Khristine Spring 2008 Collection Launch Party in Los Angeles.

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Say what you will about the parenting skills of the Spears, but it looks like finally Jamie Spears is finally putting his foot down and taking control. Hopefully he burned it. Now if he can just get his hands on those fishnet stockings...

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"Trailer Visits… With His Trainer"

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JUST ASKING? WHICH teenage TV cutie was sharing cocktails with her permissive mom at a fashion party in New York? The mom - who favors short shirts and wears her hair just like her daughter - needs to grow up. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Hayden Panettiere and her mother Leslie

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The Grammy Awards went down last night, proving once again that: 1. Beyonce tries too hard 2. Rihanna is cute as hell, but talentless 3. Amy Winehouse needs to keep her ass in rehab (because she has too much talent) 4. Alicia Keys is the truth The talented and beautiful Alicia Keys. Too bad about the hair though.Not sure why Bai Ling was there, but this ridiculous get-up was the best dressed I've ever seen her. Beyonce is a black (more talented) Jessica Simpson, in that there is nothing effortless about her. Girlfriend just tries and tries.... and it shows. This haircut is Beyonce trying a new look, but you can't call her ugly. I do see that Beyonce downgraded her breast implants. Good for her. Too bad she encased the new ones in that sequined sh*t. What's with her and the bedazzled look? It must be the Texas. Beyonce on stage, looks like she finally put back on all that weight she lost for Dreamgirls. Cher. SHM. Fantasia. I was going to be kind.... But then I saw the close up. Fergie looked great. Keisha Cole looked like she couldn't afford hair and make-up. What do you wear when your husband puts on a "nigger" t-shirt? Gold hot-pants and silver shoes, how else are you going to get people to notice you.

It's been a year, and that blond hair still isn't working for Nelly Furtado.

Channeling 80s popstar in a Zac Posen Spring 2008 dress, Rihanna.

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