The Gossip Wrap-Up!

So yesterday, while the world debated whether or not we liked Robert Pattinson’s new haircut, (loves it!) a bigger debate is raging on behind the scene s in Hollywood. Twilight is in trouble people. Big trouble.

No, I could care less who directs the rest of these crappy-books-turned-crappy-movies (which I will see every single one, because I’m obsessive that way). If Harry Potter can change directors every year, so can Twilight. But the drama surrounds who will play my beloved Jacob.

I am firmly on Team Jacob. Who the hell would pick a 100 year old dead guy, over a strapping young beast? Someone who has never had sex, that who. Wait ten years kids, and you’ll switch to team Jacob too!

So the adorable young actor -Taylor Lautner, who played Jacob Black, might be recast, because the nitwits over at the studio don’t think he’s big enough or old enough looking to play the part now.

This is why the production is in trouble. First, the cheap bastards at the studio put ‘My Taylor’ in a cheap ass wig for the first movie, and now they’re too cheap to hire a make-up artist to spray paint a fake beard on him for the second movie. What is this, a Canadian feature film? How comes they don’t have a budget? I thought Hollywood was flush?

Here’s who should get the part: Whoever has the most Native American Blood that’s who. Take all these actors down to the local casino, and let’s pull out the family tree. Whichever one of these boys great grandmother was born on the reservation is Jacob Black. Why isn’t the National Association for Native People in on this? Is there a National Association for Native People.

Somebody, ANYBODY, get on this please!

And before you Twilight freaks start spewing, I know Taylor is part Native American. So we need to make sure he keeps the part! Plus he sooooo cute! (I'm going to ignore the fact he was born in 1992, and I remember 1992.)