Actually Jessica may not be an idiot, but she seems to be missing her self-censoring chip. Jessica is clearly one of those "pretty" girls. A kid whose beauty evolved early and was praised for that more than anything, as a result she let all of her other "life skills" fall to the way side. Jessica covers this month's Glamour Magazine, and once again, because Jessica's talent is not quite strong enough, Jessica is selling herself. Ms. Simpson, clearly not one to learn from past mistakes, reveals just a little too much about her personal life in the interview. Stating that on her first date and kiss with Tony: “I said, ‘Were you just trying to kiss me in front of all these people?’…I was taken aback by someone wanting to kiss me in public. Because normally people are ashamed.” If this were anyone else, I would think that maybe she meant people are ashamed of public displays of affection. But because this is Jessica Simpson, so we know she means normally people are ashamed to be seen with her. It doesn't occur to her that Tony could have been trying to garner some publicity by making out with her so publicly on the first date. Further why go out with someone who's ashamed to be seen in public with you Jessica? Was John Mayer really worth it? On her past loves, Simpson says that 'with ex-hubby, Nick Lachey, she felt competition because they were both musicians; and with brainy singer/songwriter John Mayer, she felt like she had to be "more intellectual."' Always a bad thing when your forced to be "more intellectual," especially when you don't have it in you. You have to wonder about this chicks self-esteem though. Changing her style, her personality for every boy she dates. The constant need to put it on "display". SMH Jessica, SMH.

For all those women who compare themselves to celebrities, THIS is the back of Elizabeth Hurley's head. Front view. It's all smoke and mirrors people. So the folks at People Magazine must be counting on exclusive wedding (or baby) photos for Kate Hudson, 'cause when I think of the 100 most beautiful people in Hollywood, Kate's not even in my top 25. Somebody explain to me how THIS made it onto People's list and Rihanna did not. You know you have a weight obsession when... I originally saw this photo on another blog, they had commented that she still had her post baby tummy. That's what they noticed?

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Is it me, or does Chrystina Sayers (far left) of Girlicious look like a younger more Tranny version of Radio personality Wendy Williams?

I love Alicia Keys, but... she could remember to put on her Spanx and not her bra?

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Maybe I'm being cruel but for someone who's been working out daily, she doesn't seem all that fit. Maybe it's her psych meds?

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This cute movie actress looks sweet and innocent but she's far from it. Her last boyfriend was a rocker in a New York band who'd been around, but never met anyone like her. She laughed when she showed him all the stuff in her apartment that she had shoplifted. And he was astounded by her collection of pharmaceuticals. It got so he was afraid to go out with her- he never knew when she'd nick something and set off alarm bells in a store. She had enough pills in her purse to get them both locked up. That's why the big bad rockstar left her. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: I have to go with Scarlett Johansson on this one. She live in an apartment in NYC and Jared Leto would be the NY Rocker.

First MSNBC, then PageSix.com, now Ben Witticomb's column 'The Gatecrasher' over at NY Daily News is AWOL. Where are all the pioneers of the Gossip trade going?

What notoriously stingy actress buys books at her neighborhood Barnes & Noble downtown, only to try to exchange the dog-eared copies days later for cash? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Sharon Stone. There's a tale of her freaking out on a staff member at a tony shop in Toronto when the sales woman wouldn't give her a "celebrity discount".

Once again the SOBs at Bell Canada have deemed that I use my mobile internet device too much for their liking, and have cut me off at a crucial moment in gossip history, the beat down of Miley Cyrus. Since this topic has been covered and uncovered by just about everyone for two days now, I will add only one thing. Everyone involved is full of sh*t. Seriously, Miley poses for Vanity Fair with the famed photog Annie Leibovitz and Disney wasn’t involved? They allowed their BILLION DOLLAR money maker to be attended to by just her mom-manger and dad. Bitch please. Oh and Vanity Fair shoots Miley Cyrus for their mag, not a cover shoot mind you because Robert Kennedy has been given that honor (even though he’s been dead for decades) and they’re “shocked by the controversy”. Can I get another 'bitch please' from the congregation?! I love this nonsense. Miley, Disney, her parents and Vanity Fair have played everyone for fools. With that, can’t wait for the issue to come in the mail. On another note, I cannot understand this kid’s popularity with the pre-tween set. She’s ugly as all hell, and her fashion sense leaves much to be desired. Maybe it's me, I have a bias against people with bad dental work, especially if they're rich and can afford better. At least Leibovitz got her to keep her mouth closed in the shot. Praise Jebus!

Which sixtysomething male media personality has full-body micro- dermabrasion every two weeks while simultaneously getting a manicure and pedicure? His esthetician says he has skin like a baby's bottom. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: That is not an attractive visual. Seems like an odd fetish to me. Which celebrity chef's producers have banned alcohol from the set because the cook gets too tipsy onscreen? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Rachael Ray seems drunk half the time, but how about Bobby Flay

One Smelly, Sapphic Blind Vice Isn’t shopping for real estate in Hell-Ay just so fun? It really is the new Sunday to-do in the City of Fallen Mortgages. Now that houses for sale are more abundant in T-town than overpriced Fred Segal tees, everybody’s looking to make a killing, celebs and noncelebs alike. ‘Course, Fanny Fecal-Farmer is so successful already with her reality boob-tube career, she’s gone ahead and bought herself another swank Hollywood compound before unloading her present one. But uh-oh! Fanny first purchased back when the market was considerably more flush, and she was just beginning her rise to the top of the cheeky heap. She overpaid considerably. Now she’s stuck with a million-dollar-plus job that’s probably going to take at least half that price tag to fix up. See, FFF’s a busy, horny girl. When she’s not off parading as a new, terribly authoritative star of her show, she’s back home making love to her girlfriend and letting her hillside house essentially rot to pot—not to mention allowing her adorable pooches to prance, poop and prowl all over the property, wreaking canine havoc. And since Ms. Fecal-Farmer so adores her g-friend (and the sweaty, time-consuming, mucho-athletic things they do in bed), she simply has no time to clean the damn place up. Another prob being Ms. F.F. abhors reprimanding her doggies for crapping and urinating everywhere just as much as she does training them not to. Therefore, Fanny had the most brills idea! Since the rather attractive gal knew fixing up her pad would take more care and money than she preferred to provide, she authorized her Realtors to splash “Secluded Celebrity Retreat!” all over the advertising campaign, effectively luring additional looky-loos. And just when potential buyers are about to flee, due to the urine and dog excrement collections everywhere, Fanny just happens to come home, unexpectedly, and—voilà!—the “celebrity” is revealed, thereby assuring some sort of purchasing incentive. Hasn’t worked, so far. House ain’t movin’, and it’s stinkier than ever. (Though, must admit, fooled lookers have enjoyed the sex-toy display in the bedroom, very impressive, Fan-hon!) And It Ain't Racheal Ray, Heidi Montag or Kim Kardashian Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: No clue, we don't get all the reality shows up here in Canada (Thank God!). Some folks on the site swear it's Jackie Warner from some show called Work Out.

Don't Shoot the MessengerWhich 'sensitive' heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can't go but five minutes between bathroom breaks. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: John Mayer?

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which gorgeous Latina actress is said to have a Sapphic relationship with her hair stylist? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Please no one say Penelope Cruz, she's Spanish from Europe not Latina. I'm going with Rosario Dawson on this one (yes I know she's dating some DJ, but she's been accused of batting for the other team before).

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which A-list actor with a long-suffering wife is not only a serial philanderer (we knew that) but a major cokehead (that's news!)? He makes bathroom trips every five minutes at his favorite L.A. club and likes to have a young woman seated on his lap. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: I'm going with Denzel Washington. Definitely a serial philanderer, and this would explain why he's been hanging out at Villa so much lately.

A Bitch to Work For Successful multi-hyphenate, super well connected personally and professionally with a reputation for being kind and compassionate and evolved. Wrong. Maybe for the media and maybe her fashionable celebrity friends, maybe for investors, maybe for executives, but some of her employees would vehemently disagree. Turns out she’s a little bit of a Miranda Priestly when she comes into the office. Starts snapping her fingers right away, never remembers anyone’s name, everyone is treated like a personal assistant, dispatched to do her bidding instead of actually getting down to work, recently held up a creative meeting because she wanted whole milk and not cream with her coffee, then 20 minutes into the meeting, she held it up again when her cell phone rang, proceeded to keep everyone waiting another 15 minutes while she discussed measurements on a dress she was having made, did not apologise when she clicked off the line, and instead embarrassed a staffer who returned to the room after having excused himself to take an urgent phone call when she was taking hers. But all that is rather pedestrian. There are no shortage of bitches in Hollywood. In the grand scheme of things, all that is pretty harmless. Until you get into job security. A pregnant member of her staff was scheduled to give birth around crunch time. Her boss’s convenient remedy for the situation was to not hire her back when everyone else returned to work. At the very least she was honest. She told her straight up – your due date doesn’t work for me. I don’t think you’ll be able to contribute in the same way you did before. So the employee hired a lawyer, a lawsuit loomed, and the boss bitch had to backpedal to the tune of a handsome pay-off (confidential, of course) and several seminars on employee rights although it apparently hasn’t helped. She’s still super stingy, to the point where she complains about the quality of craft services (it’s too good) and even supplies, haggles over offering vacation pay, and will not foot the bill for staff celebrations and events, even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited. Crazier still, she seems to be clueless when it comes to tact. The other day she said to one of her producers – if you need something to do this weekend, my assistant could use some help planning our reception. You could stay for dinner if you want. When he declined, she looked at him like he was closing the door to the opportunity of a lifetime. Before you ask, it’s not the Mighty Opes. UPDATES: NOT TYRA BANKS, KIMORA LEE SIMMONS, RACHEL RAY OR COURTNEY COX Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Have mercy, who is the bitch? Kimora Lee Simmons? But she doesn't have a reputation for being kind or compassionate. J Lo or Posh? I don't think so. It sounds like someone who's currently producing. Going to go troll through IMDB.... check back later. Tyra Banks. How about Selma Hayek. She's so pro-woman, executive produces Ugly Betty and does a host of other work. It would shock me but...

My favourite Cruise has been recruited to restore the family name. According to People Magazine, Tom Cruise’s son Conner will be making his film debut in Will Smiths’ Seven Pounds. Clearly Suri's appeal hasn’t had the effect Tom wanted, so Tom is now pimping out the cutest kid in the family. After the success of Jaden Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness, no one should be surprised by this turnout. If dad's career isn't resurrected soon, I’m sure that Isabella will be given the spotlight, after a makeover –she kind has a lesbian-in-training thing going on. Can’t say I’m feeling it

Some sisters are hurting right now, and they need your help. First up is Jada Pickett Smith. Now Jada doesn't have a job (you can't put beard on a résumé and I refuse to believe those rumors anyways!), so essentially she's just a rich man's wife. Surely she can do better. She kind of looks like a drunk tranny in this shot... Woman everywhere need to know that hair weaves make you go bald. I don't care if it's sewn in or clipped in, your hair follicles cannot take the weight. Need proof? Please look at the weaved one Naomi Campbell. Please look at Naomi's hair line. Can you find Naomi's hairline? My point exactly...Crazy bitch is still pretty though.

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Don't Shoot the Messenger Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: I going with Rachel Zoe (because she's been accused of blabbing before) and Marc Jacobs -who went into rehab last year, but has been looking kind of rough lately -granted that could because of that other rumor about him...

Which starlet left a black lace thong draped over the back of the toilet seat at the Beatrice Inn last week for the next patron to find, then went commando for the rest of the night? Which weekly glossy just signed a mega-million-dollar contract with a certain annoying celebrity couple? The deal is the magazine will get exclusive interviews with the couple, but in turn they need to break up (again), get back together (again) and actually get married. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Us Magazine/Heidi and Spencer -but who is actually buying this crap? Janice Min has lost her mind.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which actress on a canceled show was "doing her body weight" in cocaine at a beachy magazine shoot over the weekend? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Hard one. Was Dirty, Sexy, Money cancelled? Because Samaire Armstrong was my first thought. How about Battlestar Galatica's Tricia Helfer or Las Vegas' Molly Sims -only because "beachy magazine" screams Ocean Drive or some swimsuit thing.

Which recently rehabbed rocker got clean through a week-long induced coma? He couldn't bear to sweat out the booze on his own. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: For some reason I'm thinking Ritchie Sambora, only because he 1) He's dropped off the radar. 2) He initially did such a short stint in rehab and clearly it didn't take. And 3) Given his arrest, he need to get and stay clean quickly.

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One Return-to-Debauched Blind Vice Dangling Wrangler’s at it again. You know Dangle-babe: He’s the base-boy the whole world seems to love no matter how many episodes he efs up, (via himself, the law or the ladies). Indeed, the Dangle dude’s been in trouble myriad times with too many drugs, too many women who were married to other men or by just being a plain ol’ mean, drunk bastard. Therefore, the publicist’s quick fix was required (rehab and several staged photo shoots with Dangling looking brow-furrowed and fine with fans and such). Worked for a bit. But, then—as usually happens when one cleans up for a press release instead of for a personal mission—Dangling’s not only back to the booze and slut races, he’s hitting the hard drugs more than ever. Looks like crap, too. But the gals don’t seem to mind—they actually like screwing a famous guy who’s good (for about five minutes these days) with his huge, never-washed zucchini. Alas, even the quickie quickies don’t do it for D.W. any more. Could that be why he’s getting so bored with dumpee broad after dumpee babe that he’s now secretly courting his latest unluckiest girlfriend’s (very underage) daughter? Why the hell don't people like this ever get caught? No, in Hollywood, they get Oscars, don’t they? And it Ain't Robert Downey, Christian Slater or Jack Nicholson Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: The Oscar bit has thrown me. I am assuming it's someone who's won one.

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Don't shoot the messenger Which celebrity stylist has been banned by Louis Vuitton because its stuff has a habit of not coming back from her shoots? She also had that full-figured star of a hit TV comedy leave the set in tears after telling her, "Ugh, I can't believe you don't fit into that!" Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Celebrity Stylist Rachel Zoe and America Ferrera

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Isn't she supposed to be 6 months pregnant? Are we sure she left the Church of Scientology, because something fishy is going on here. There's got to be some surrogate hiding out in LA carrying her child...

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Don't Shoot the Messenger Which now-washed up '90s TV star is exasperating his agent by putting all his sexual conquests in touch with the ten-percenter? He talks girls into bed by promising the agent will meet with them. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Do you know how many washed up 90 TV Stars there are? I need more hints.

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Someone needs to get photo approval written into their next contract. Good thing he's used to people laughing at him.

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Short and Blind Which lead singer of a band that’s all about giving back and clean living and saving the world abandoned his wife and children for a woman he met online last summer? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: It's one of the guys from the Bare Naked Ladies Blind Item Revealed: Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies Which tv starlet was so hard up for “happy” the other day, she couldn’t stop twitching, resulting in too many wasted takes? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Is Mischa filming anything?

One Special Scratch-'n'-Sniff Blind Vice Break out your umbrellas and stay out of the splash zone, Super Duper Cooper strikes again. Our sexed-out insiders are spilling about some other naughty boudoir behavior SDC has been up to besides becoming an Olympian at preorgasmic water sports, ugh. Supes seems to like his female fans almost as much as he likes his steamy Hollywood girlfriends, and he treats both varieties of vixens with about the same amount of respect. The well-liked lothario scoops up the gals and spits 'em back out just as quickly, especially the ones who accidentally get knocked up 'cause of his encounters. Guy’s a low-down dawg, though his puppy puss makes him seem so much more innocent. Mr. Duper Cooper even marks his territory like man’s best four-legged pal: He’s been known to have his adoring fans line up against a wall, drop trou and go to town sniffing their derrieres like they were at the Laurel Canyon pooch park. Sounds kinda hot, but kinda gross. Don’t think this was just hazing for entry into the fan club—Cooper’s famous ex-flame was also privy to this way-too-personal inspection. A bit too absurd for your prude tastes in titillation? We’re more confused than disgusted, since SDC also likes to throw on some gay porn while bedding his beauties. In fact, our too-close-for-comfort sources swear Duper’s desktop screensaver is none other than the male member, in its full pixilated 'n' engorged glory. Is this dude bisexual, or trying to cover up all the oft-blogged-about gay rumors by romancing so many willing ladies? Either way, he needs to be put on a leash before we turn back around to liking this lush lad. And it Ain't: Pete Wentz, Chace Crawford or Tom Brady Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: John Mayer

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which rising young actress was informed at a recent film party that Jane Fonda wanted to meet her? "I don't give a [bleep]," came the jaded response. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Is Scarlett Johansson rising (she's been around for a decade but when was her last hit movie?). I'm assuming it's someone who's politically conscious...

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which show keeps its dim-witted if ultra-popular "reality" stars peppy with Adderall supplied by a producer in handfuls between scenes? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: MTV's The Hills. I still can't sit through that show. My life is not so dull that I have to waste time on that nonsense.

Canadian Blogger, Elaine Lui revealed one of her more popular blind items yesterday and in the process outted Box Office King Will Smith. On December 17, 2007 Lainey Gossip posted this Blind Item: Trailer Visits Married and mega successful, with several children, but how to account for the gay young things seen coming and going from his trailer during production of his next hit? They were not part of the crew and they were not there to work… at least not on the film. Word is, he is insatiable and needs variety. Rarely does the same boy visit twice. And rarely are the boys not well taken care of. Though they are not paid professionals, per se, but they are compensated for being pretty and bendy. This is apparently a requirement. All of them have been observed to share the same body type: lean and fresh with short hair and they look like they all “belong in a music video”. Satisfaction guaranteed on both sides. He gets his and they get trips, clothes, watches, iPods… like a gay holiday year round! Always tip well to avoid talkers, savvy? On February 11, 2008 Lainey Gossip posted the following blind item: Trailer Visits… With His Trainer Remember him? Click here for a refresher. Looks like his trailer activities have not stopped, although now, instead of a revolving door of visitors, it’s just one on the regular – his trainer with whom he has been spending an inordinate amount of time while working on location for an ongoing project, locked alone behind closed doors for hours. Not training. Not even dressed for training. Curiously enough, he’s taken to entertaining his trainer not in his own trailer but in his co-star’s trailer, foolishly believing their long sessions would go unnoticed.Not unnoticed. And actually rather shocking for crew members who until now totally believed his fraud. Today (April 9, 2009) Lainey posted the following: The Unfunny Host Mike Myers will host the MTV Movie Awards as part of the promotional lead-up to the release of The Love Guru. No doubt, his spoof clips will be hilarious. For the viewer that is. The real question though – will they be hilarious for the people working on them? Or will they have to overcome the monumental difficulty of producing the features without actually looking at or talking to their star? What??? But Mike is Canadian! Canadians are NEVER douchebags… right? Please. Ask anyone who worked with Avril Lavigne at the Junos this weekend and you’ll know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Still… on the outside, Mike is as charming as they come: "Hosting the MTV Movie Awards is like a party, but without having to do beer runs in your mom's mini van. We do beer runs in Will Smith's four-story motor home." Interesting he chose Will Smith to write a joke about. In a motor home. Just sayin’… Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: When Lainey Gossip first posted this blind I swore up and down it couldn't be Will Smith. Not that I think he straight, it's just I believe him to be smarter than that... But I am shocked that Lainey would get so out of pocket and Out such a big star. Maybe she's trying to increase her traffic?

Jenna Jameson turn 34 years old today. 34??!!! Clearly she's had a rough life.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which divorced celebs, who still share a PR, are driving the poor flack crazy trying to plant mean stories about each other? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Do Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawk share a publicist...

Which little Punk Ass… Was smiley smiley when the cameras were rolling this weekend and sweet as pie in public, with a baby doll voice to match a cute baby doll dress but was an ungrateful little bitch behind the scenes at an awards show? She turned up at sound check and immediately asked “when can I leave?” Then during her rehearsal she completely screwed up the second half of her set, blaming her poor performance on the keyboards, and the piano, and every other instrument except her voice and the nonsense going on in her head. She also required the use of a teleprompter. For her own songs!!! During the telecast, when it became evident she would be going home empty handed, she refused to sit in the audience when her categories were presented, preferring instead to stay backstage even after her performance like a sulky baby. Or maybe she was brushing up on geography. She appears to need a few lessons these days. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Should I even bother answering this one. Maybe Lainey should have added a few lyrics from "Skater Boi" to help us out...

...her mother dresses her funny. Little Lola Iolani Momoa with mom Lisa Bonet and dad Jason Momoa.

Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster's dad, smoked pot in the star's trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf on the Indiana Jones set.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs. won't find out. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Sounds like Rod Stewart.

Don't Shoot The Messenger Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Jonas Brothers. "Beyond metrosexual" is a great way to describe their look. I was wondering what the odds of 3 brothers being gay were, this ends my confusion.

I went to see Run Fat Boy Run last night (a great movie BTW -I laughed my ass off), but it was the promo for Son of Rambow that made me excited. If you haven't heard of the film, its about two kids who decide to make their own movie about the son of Rambo. It was the audience favorite at Sundance and if the trailer is half as good as the feature, I will be enjoying this one.

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Why She’s So Cranky She isn’t eating. She hasn’t been eating for weeks, hellbent on losing what she calls some extra padding but what everyone else calls … nothing. There is nothing to lose. But still she needs to lose it. Started dieting furiously a couple of months ago but wasn’t seeing results quickly enough so she’s cut back the food and as a result has turned into a total hag, chewing people out during production meetings, yelling at catering staff for daring to bring food near her, and getting into a little shoving match with her own publicist, who has the unfortunate position of having to attend to her as she ramps up promotion, over scheduling. On the plus side, she is indeed growing ever slimmer. But the thinness is now accompanied by a telltale glassy look in her eyes which isn’t entirely unfamiliar. Being skinny can make you dependent and cranky and weak…Which is why she hasn’t been able to finish a day’s work all week, always begging off early, complaining of the flu, or a migraine...and now the project is behind schedule, her agent has been called, and a talking-to is in the works. Career not in jeopardy… yet. But probably soon if she doesn’t start eating. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: I'm torn, it could be Mariah, who is a lot skinnier in person than she is in pictures, and would explain her behaviour of late. But Kate Bosworth was out promoting too. And she definitely had dependency and eating issues before. So I'm going with Kate on this one.

Not so Blind Item What E! channel personality has had surgery on her vagina because her girly bits were too large? Her boyfriend can really Handle her much better now! Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Chelsea Handler. Now if you'd had this or any particularly sensitive work done, why would you share this with anyone. Somethings your best friend shouldn't hold your hand through, especially if she has a big mouth.

Lawd have mercy. Now I'm old enough to remember The Cosby Show before it went into reruns. And Zoe is definitely channeling her mother Lisa Bonet when she went through (and still is) in that weird boho/hobo fashion period. Unfortunately, this outfit makes it look like Zoe Kravitz has a mental disease. Sigh. If she were my daughter and she tried to leave the house dressed like that, I'd beat her.

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He is the significant other of a "major" female celebrity. They present a strong family front but in the past, she caught him having sex with a close friend and forgave him. This man is a a walking scandal. He currently has two households (which includes her's) with children and now he's soliciting women off his myspace page. And, he also has an apartment in Los Angeles (paid for by his significant other) where he hooks up with his myspace conquests. He considers himself a celebrity by association and a few of the women seem to be fans of her's, despite this-they want to bed him so they can tell others they had her man. Oddly, his requirements are: You must be light skinned and shapely. He's getting so much sexual action off myspace, he can barely keep up. When the myspace women ask about his famous woman, he's talks about her like a dog and tries to deny their relationship. And, he appears ashamed of her.

At this point I've just stopped feeling sorry for her. Kelly Rowland wears some ugly-ass Roberto Cavalli at his show.

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One Bisexual Bejeweled Blind Vice Fey Oiled-Tush is a very rich man. He’s also a very desperate man, as so many celebrated Hollywood players ultimately are. After all, doesn’t success just beget the desire for more success—rather than satisfaction? Always. Just ask Michael Eisner, Mike Ovitz, Meg Ryan and assorted other colossal check cashers who once thought the green would never stop coming, only to see the influx dwindle considerably. But this Vice ain’t about power, it’s about fag-hag ass kissing, sorry. Margarita Screwed-'Em-All is a reigning queen of Tinseltown. And even though she doesn’t go out much, she sure as hell did at one time—always with one of her myriad lovers/husbands/pets. (Paris was so not the first to make a pooch a photo-op accoutrement, Margarita beat her on that score ages ago.) Instead, M-babe stays home at her art-filled mansion (which is a little on the tacky side, I must say, unless you prefer brass deer next to your masterpieces and that sort of overpriced mishmash style). However, she loves to receive. Particularly the gays. True, she’s doing it less nowadays, but still, a flaming fagola—along with fewer and fewer members of Screwed-Em’-All’s own fam—still makes it up past M.S.’s fancy gates. And Fey, utterly distraught by the current downturn of his previously magical movie touch and sorely needing a pick-me-up, was dying to be one of them recently. Don’t think FOT mentioned anything about bringing the wife-unit when he—and not one of his minions—rang up Margarita’s secretary to request an audience. “Get him to buy me those jewels I liked,” Ms. S barked, via her assistant, back to Fey, message being no rocks, no tush pecking. So Mr. Oiled-Tush, armed with the location of the baubles that tickled Margarita so, actually went and picked out a piece from the overpriced jeweler. Had it delivered pronto to Margarita, who, after tearing open the box which contained a sweet little piece, screamed: “One! He only got me one?” Indeed, Fey had made the lethal error of purchasing not an assortment of expensive sparklers for Margarita to choose from—but only one already-selected lonely little lovely. Not good. Result being, there was no audience. And the gift was not returned, bitch you very much. Poor Fey. What will he do for his mood-altering now, I wonder? Start up with the boys again? And It Ain't: Will Smith, Chris Rock or Brandon Fraser Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Ok so Tom Cruise went looking for more allies to help shore up his image, he showed up at Elizabeth Taylor's door and she wouldn't let him in.

Now that Britney has been drugged and contained, Paris Hilton is in love and Lindsay Lohan is too broke to abuse, Black Folks in LaLa Land have decided to step up. Today began with a new installment of the Poor and the Homely, starring Bobby Brown. Having been cut off from Whitney Houston’s bank account due to a strong prenup, and having minimal opportunity to make a buck because of his waning talent and nonexistent looks, Bobby Brown has written his autobiography. I serious doubt Bobby has read a book, so I betting this bad boy has one hell of a ghost writer.

Next up on our bus ride through Ghetto Town, 50 Cent and his ongoing Baby Mama Drama. "Hip-hop/bottled-water impresario Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson asked that a judge evict his ex-girlfriend, Shaniqua Tompkins, and the couple’s 10-year-old son, Marquise Jackson, from the rapper’s property in Long Island, New York. In February a judge hacked Tomkins’ monthly support checks from $25,000 to $6,700 (her fault, mostly). Tompkins and Marquis were allowed to remain in Jackson’s home on condition that the money be used in part to find a new residence. Fiddy says they didn’t even try and that Tompkins is taking advantage of the situation.” Tompkins maintains that the rapper bought the house for her, but he testified that it's his. He also made it clear that he wasn't happy that her new boyfriend was living in the $1.5 million home, one of the largest in Dix Hills.

Now I don't know who this woman thinks she is, but somebody needs to lock her ass up for a bid. Raging Naomi Campbell was taken off a jet in cuffs last night after spitting in a cop's face. The fiery model branded officers "a***holes" and air crew "bloody fools" in a luggage row at Heathrow. Campbell, 37, was held on suspicion of assault.

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Pretty soon I'm going to be hating on this chick, 'cause Rihanna keeps getting photographed on a daily basis for absolutely no reason (other than her fabulousity -damn you Kimora and your made up words). Here's Barbados' finest on set of her latest video. That hair is still fly. Bitch.

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These good looking performers were America's Sweethearts and their divorce sent shockwaves through Hollywood. The real reason they split up: He brought her a gift she didn't like. HERPES! That's how she figured out he was cheating. Her new boyfriend doesn't mind because he got the SAME gift from a cheating girlfriend! Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Performers leads me to believe that they weren't both actors... I'm liking the Nick/Jessica/Tony guesses that are floating around but wouldn't it make more sense if Jessica gave the Herpe to Nick? Then again, Vanessa was with Derek Jeter for 7 years, and lord knows he's patient zero....

A newly svelte Jason Davis takes a stroll in Beverly Hills. Why do both Davis brothers seem to have an oily sheen to them?

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Don't Shoot the Messenger Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star

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#1: (STAR STRUCK) She jumped at the chance of having "15 minutes of fame," when she auditioned for a reality TV show. She was nervous during the screening, especially the medical portion, since several girls had already been dismissed for having a STD. Due to her promiscuous lifestyle, she was shocked when she passed the physical. She milked every opportunity affiliated with this show and allegedly slept with the star of the show on numerous occasions. She also had the opportunity to meet rappers, athletes and singers and she relished in the limelight; attending various parties. She slept with so many men, she lost count and she was devastated when none of them "put her on." When the next season of the show aired, she became yesterday's news and the party invites stopped arriving. Her 15 minutes didn't work out as she planned, she had hoped to snag a rich rapper or athlete. The last we heard, she was contemplating having a baby for welfare benefits. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: This ghetto nonsense can only paint to Flava of Love. It's either Season 1 Winner Hoopz or Season 2's Delish. SMH either way. #2: SHUNNED Backstory: She may have been successful and famous but a lot of men in her community were not proud of her success because it was common knowledge that she slept with a lot of black men to achieve stardom. Once, when she was out in public with friends, we received reports that two men (of the same ethnicity) got loud with her and one called her a n***er lover and the other one spit on her. Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: Paula Abdul -she slept her way through the married Jackson family (when they had something) , as well as a couple of NBA players and got her start as Janet Jackson's choreographer.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Which lead actor in a hit ensemble TV show brags that a female conquest isn't complete unless at least one of his hotel room neighbors calls security about the noise? Gossip Wrap-Up Guess: This one sounds like some young punk. I'm going for someone on Gossip Girls...(although they all might be gay).