Ted Casablanca's Blind Vice Blind Item
>> Friday, July 31, 2009
Twilight Blind Vice: Terry Tush-Trade's Freaked What a mess Terry Tush-Trade feels overwhelmed by right now, both professionally and personally. If only someone could shake Terry's well-coiffed little head and say it's all OK, you've got the world before you, fans are quivering at your gorgeous toes—you have nothing to worry about, sweet stuff! But Terry just doesn't see it that way, not at all. Result: The good-looking Twilight franchise performer is sinking further and further into checking out, via booze and drugs, nothing too heavy right now, but we all know where that getting-high road leads, right? Dammit, get it together, Tush-Trade, before it's too late! Pressure to perform for Summit in top-capacity isn't the only thing troubling TTT. As we told you before, Terr-bear's got a little lovin' secret (actually not so secret) that's already creating pressure for the beauty. Not to mention affairs of the heart from both sexes pulling TTT strongly. And now, to add to that very Toothy Tile-esque endeavor, Terry's getting piles more directions from Summit on how to act, what to say, what not to say, don't go there, don't wink this, don't utter that—Terry's goin' nutso in the process! Therefore, Tush-Trade's mode of response has become increasingly... Soaked in the 80-proof stuff, not to mention smoking this and popping that, just to keep it together. Oh, if only everybody concerned (mainly you, Summit, you chastising corporate spoilsports) would let Terry be the natural bisexual lover Tush-Trade was born as. I mean, certainly didn't hurt Angelina Jolie any, right? She finally chose a mate to settle down with, once she was allowed to romp and roam on whichever mattress she chose. And good for her! It's one of the things we admire about Jolie, that she never hid her sexuality, something Terry's dying to do, as well. But Terry keeps getting told, "Pull that one, and you're on the next train to Rachelle Lefevre-ville." And we all know where that is: totally the wrong side of the career tracks...for now, at least. Fight back, Terry and Rachelle, you can both change the world! It Ain't: Rachelle Lefevre, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: Kristen Stewart?
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And still, Lindsay Lohan leaves her hair salon wearing a hat.
Lindsay Lohan gets her hair done. I'm not feeling that blond on her at all.
Crap like this is one of the fall outs of consistently lying about your age. When you have been lying as consistently and for as long as I have, little reminders creep up on you and knock you off your feet. Saved By The Bell is celebrating its 20th anniversary. Let's pretend that we care. Let's pretend that we understand why the 20th anniversary of Saved By The Bell would warrant a People magazine cover. Let's discuss how old this make me feel -not look mind you, because I still get carded by liquor. By the way where's Screech? Where's the principal? What porn stars and [alleged]perverts don't get to cover People?
Nothing like a week in the psych ward to leave you all rested and slightly glassed eyed. Mischa Barton looks surprisingly fresh faced (albeit, slightly bloated -damn those psych meds!). Here's hoping she stays on the straight and narrow.
I don't know why I 'Stan' for this man. But I do. I loves me some Clooney. Here George is with is latest "girlfriend". How much do you think he pays them a week? You know these women have to be on some sort of salary. This is not a relationship, it's a job. Do you think he gives benefits? I think after f*cking George you'd need benefits. George's latest is some Italian model/MTV Europe VJ/porn star, Elisabetta Canalis. Her last name sounds like an STD, how appropriate. But, if I were her, I'd be holding on to George not the bike.
Photos: Splash News
I could make this post be about how Jay-Z is not much of a gentleman for making his wife, Beyoncé walk around the car. But I think we've all heard the rumors about Beyoncé's submissive behaviour in that relationship. What I want to know is, why Beyoncé (and half the woman in Toronto for that matter) insist on wearing short-shorts even though it isn't the most attractive look for them. But now we know why Bey wears pantyhose all the time.
Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen covers Teen Vogue. Why? I have no idea. But I expect to hear of Teen Vogue's closure any minute now.
And Katy's dress...hot ass mess of the week right there. But it does distract you from her hideous make up.
Yesterday, I made a crack about how Ciara's new hairstyle made her look like a poor man's Rihanna. According to the hair stylist who cut the wig, Ciara is. Bossip.Comis reporting that stylist Shirlena Allen cut Ciara's wig about a year ago, and Ciara still hasn't paid her for the wig, nor has she returned it. Allen claims that Ciara is now "a year behind all of it....She would have been rocking it all before all if she listen[ed], now she looks like a knock off." I don't think Ciara looks like a knock off. Ciara's look is too low budget be a knock off.
I love that they didn't airbrush the hell out of Jason Bateman on the cover of Details magazine. But why does it look like he did his own hair, make-up and wardrobe?
While the LAPD is looking to arrest his doctors for their role in Michael Jackson's death, they might want to round up his Plastic Surgeon(s). Michael resembled a sad chimpanzee towards the end. How much self hatred to you need to have to wind up looking like this? Michael Jackson covers Rolling Stone (again).
If the North American Box Office is any indication, we are watching the decline of western civilization. Rats, you people chose rats over crazy assed orphans, wizards and muggles?!!! How exactly do you all choose your movies? Rats with planes and guns. Secret agent rats? Did someone actually pitch this crap with a straight face? Or was everyone in the room high when they agreed to make G-Force film? And what kind of parent pays money to see this crap. No wonder India and China are kicking our asses. Do you think they're churning out this crap in Bollywood? We all know the Chinese censors have to much sense for this crap. My Esther came in fourth. My creepy crazy Esther. I would say I loved her, but I can't get over the teeth. The teeth were the deal breaker for me. I was rooting for her up until that point. I went into The Orphan knowing Esther's secret -you can find anything on the Internet -and I loved it anyway. Katherine Heigl and Gerald Butler came in third, with a more than respectable 27 million. Expect to see more movies with rodents and more movies with Katherine Heigl, same thing really. This weekends Box Office: 1. G-Force - $31,706,934 2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince WB $29,462,187 3. The Ugly Truth - $27,605,576 4. Orphan - $12,871,483 5. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - $8,408,430 6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - $8,124,427 7. The Hangover - $6,461,370 8. The Proposal - $6,379,926 9. Public Enemies - $4,352,650 10.Bruno - $2,832,870
Back in university I befriended in girl in my economics class. By befriended I mean I spoke to her, and she latched on like a motherf*cker. Cindy admitted that most girls ignored her, she didn't seem to have any friends. Wanna know why? Cindy looked like Barbie, only prettier, nicer and smarter. I hated walking around campus with this girl, because men everywhere got whiplash, and not a single one of them were looking at me (and I was cute back then)! But Cindy was a BMW. A Black Man's Women. Cindy only dated black guys because they treated her like gold, And why wouldn't they, she was a life size Barbie? Kim Kardashian is a BMW. Kim is also gorgeous (in my opinion). I for one, don't have a problem with interracial couples. I'm all for it. Take away the skin colour, and we're all a$$holes anyways. Right now, as we speak, a whole lot of black men in Los Angeles are getting ready. Ms. Kardashian won't be single for long (it's a pity she has such terrible taste in black men though).
The Kardashian girls at a club. Like any of those bitches know how to read. 
Jennifer Lopez kills me. Here she is all teary eyed at her "surprise" 40th birthday party. Are we to believe this control freak didn't plan every detail of her event? 
Nice to see those tears didn't mess with her eye make-up (which is gorgeous BTW). 
Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford takes her son for a swim in Malibu. Somehow I don't think the damage from the sun is nearly as life-threatening as all the chemicals in that sunscreen. 
Is anyone still interested in joining that gym, Madonna, Gwyneth and their trainer opened up. I'll take my Oprah Arms over this any day. 
God bless Ciara for trying to stay relevant. With her new "do" she looks like the poor man's Rihanna. 
Speaking of Rihanna, photographed here out and about in NYC...I don't know where she's going, but we'd better get the f*ck up on out of her way.
This video is one of the drawbacks of marrying 'up'. Poor Katie. Five years ago she would have known better. 5 years ago she would have had friends who could of helped her, who would have told her the truth. But now Katie Holmes is married to Tom Cruise and studying Scientology. Now Katie is surrounded by liars. She bathes in lies. She eats lies. She believes lies. First they told her she could dress. Then they told her she could design. Now they've told her she could dance. Someone needs to tell her she can fly. Put her our of her misery.
Lindsay Lohan earned some money yesterday making milkshakes at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood. If I walked into any food establishment and saw someone this dirty looking behind the counter, I'd turn around and walk right out. On another note, I know this is a bad photo, but Lindsay used to be cute, right?
I may have to start showing Amber Rose some respect. For some reason she's on minute 27 of the fifteen minutes of fame. And I have no clue how this woman is doing it. Amber Rose (without Kanye) showed up at the opening of a Guess store last night. Rocking Guess from head to toe, dare I say she looks good.
I used to dream of being photographed next to T.I.'s baby mama, Tiny figuring I would look like a supermodel next to her. When I said this jokingly to a friend, they told me Tiny was like 4 foot nothing and in fact "tiny" and while my face might look even more fab, my body would resemble a linebackers. I thought that was a bit harsh until I saw this:
Former MTV VJ LaLa is probably a size 6, eight max. Standing next to Tiny she looks like a house. I love how Tiny smiles in her photos. She's figured out that she's best photographed on an angle. Bless her.
Someone needs to get Anna Wintour on this kid. Rihanna for the September issue of Vogue!! (I can dream!)
Rihanna rocked one crazy-assed and fabulous look at the Inglourious Basterds UK Premiere last night. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if only her music game were as tight as her style.
Perpetual victim T.R. Knight is attempting to put a positive spin on the reasons he walked away from a hit show. The long and the short of it, his character wasn't on enough and he didn't trust the shows creator Shonda Rhimes. My take, he and Katherine Heigl openly begged to leave, the two of them thinking the show would collapse without them. Unfortunately for Knight, ABC decided to take only one of the two up on their offer to vacate the premises. Now T.R Knight is doing plays in Hollywood, while Katherine is cashing cheques from both her television and movie work. Smart movie T.R.!
May the ghost of Jim Henson haunt her ass. Poor Kermit.
I'm a huge M.I.A. fan. And her son Ikhyd might just dethrone Zahara as the cute celebrity kid out there (it's the weak eye and his fashion sense!). He's too cute.
Apparently as women age, the hair is the first thing to go. Lil Kim, who seems to finally have gotten the plastic surgery right (or this is a good angle) and Cindy Lauper show off their poor head game at the Nelson Mandela Birthday Concert in NYC last night.
The nineties were the golden age of models and magazines. It was before the actresses took over the fashion magazine covers and killed print. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, and my favorite Christy Turlington. Christie is forty years old, a mother, wife, getting her Master's degree and is on the cover of the August 2009 edition of Vogue magazine. Clearly some of us aren't working hard enough.
GI Joe star Channing Tatum cover's GQ Magazine. He's pretty. That's not a good thing.
If I didn't think Debbie Rowe spent a little too much time around horses, she might be my new hero. Debbie is putting all of these star f*cking nitwits to shame. The Jackson's are close to settling a custodial agreement with Debbie Rowe. It was reported today that she would get $4 million dollars to permanently drop all custodial claims over Paris and Prince Michael, but her lawyer denied that there was an agreement in place. Translation, Ms. Rowe will getting more coin than that. Here's why she's my new hero. To date, Debbie Rowe has received just over $16 million for bringing Prince Michael and Paris into the world. SIXTEEN MILLLION DOLLARS. And we all know she never had sex with Michael Jackson, not even once. Nor has she changed diapers or wiped a snotty noses... And to think some video girl thinks she has hit the jackpot after getting three grand a month in child support from some second rate rapper. Debbie Rowe is showing these bitches how it's done. Which is pretty extraordinary considering she looks like she should be working the local truck stop.
Perhaps she's been inspired by Amber Rose, whose “15 minutes” as someone aptly put it, "keeps restarting." Karrine Steffans is back. "Super Head," Video Vixen, all around hip hop whore, has yet another book out. Good for her for not giving up after the second one flopped. The dysfunctional Ms. Steffans, has ceased with the “tell alls”. This time she is giving advice –“ tips and tricks for man-hunting in her latest book, “The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want.” You know there are a whole slew of black girls in the 'hood, lining up for this one. SMH. Actually, I shouldn’t judge too harshly. Some of what she says makes perfect sense (you can read an except here). When you have been around the bush as much as she has, surely you must learn something. But somehow I don’t think she wrote this one. Besides, I cannot take advice from a girl who sent a text to Perez Hilton rather than call 911 when she claimed her boyfriend tried to run her over with his car. She’s suspect.
She’s single. Again. Before you all start on what a cad Tony Romo is for dumping Jessica Simpson last week, on the eve of her 29th Birthday. I want you to take Tony’s point of view. Firstly, he probably wanted to dump her early last week, but it took a few days to drum up the courage, Jessica’s a “crier”. We all know that girl is a “crier”. But more importantly, Jessica Simpson turned 29. My guess, missy was looking for the ring. If I know Jessica, and even though I’ve never met the girl, I think I do, she was probably begging for it. So what’s a guy to do? Well what’s a girl to do should probably be my question. If the “dumpee” is Jessica Simpson, then the answer is easy: “Twitter” (yet another reason why I can’t stand this woman).
Look at that smile. Lil Orphan Africa, Lil Mercy of Malawi, may be smiling on the outside but she's laughing on the inside. 'Cause baby knows she's hit the jackpot!
Seriously, she's so cute. Her hair still ain't right, but that smile makes up for it. Can we stop with all the comments with respect to celebrity mom's using nannies to "raise their kids". If I stand outside my local daycare and start berating working moms, I'd get shot (and deservedly so)! Let's not punish women for working and having kids. Lord knows when I have a kid, I have no intention of staying at home with it (even if I'm rich). Women marched and burned bras for this right, don't piss on it.
That jacket looks like it cost more than my shoes, yet Madonna can't afford a hair brush. You see that stunned look on Mercy's face? That is not because she's scared of the photographers. That's the look of a little black girl who knows her hair ain't right.
SMH at the beads. Beads imply effort. Unfortunately, that effort looks like it happened about a week ago.
I've already admitted on this blog that my big sister got the fashion gene. That being said, somebody needs to explain this outfit to me. What statement is Lady Gaga making? Who would cover their face at a press conference? If she were in France, I'd think she were offering up alternatives to the burka for her Muslim fans, but she's in Spain, and they have no plans to ban the burka. So WTF does this mean? I could stare at this get-up all day perplexed....
Life's funny sometimes. I was once told that your success in life has one hundred percent to do with the choices you make. Good or bad, they all lead to somewhere. Lindsay Lohan is learning that lesson. PageSix is reporting that Lindsay passed up the role in the summer blockbuster The Hangover, because she said the screenplay "had no potential." Todd Phillips, who directed the comedy, offered Lohan the role of Jade, a stripper played by Heather Graham. One source told the magazine Lohan's agent "tried hard to get Phillips to consider her," but "Lindsay said she didn't like the script." It's one thing not to like the script. But Lindsay can't afford to be choosy. No one wants her for anything right now. My guess, the role wasn't "big enough" for her. She would have been a distraction anyways. Her loss, not the films.
