If this girl isn't careful, she's going to get a reputation. Winona Ryder might be in trouble again over some missing items. According to TMZ.com the actress has been accused of swiping more than $124,000 worth of Bulgari jewels she borrowed for a Nov. 20 event sponsored by Marie Claire magazine in Madrid. Ryder, who was caught stealing from a Saks Fifth Avenue store in 2001, reported the diamond-encrusted bracelet and ring missing sometime after she left them in her hotel room to be picked up by someone from Marie Claire, the site says. But according to French celebrity magazine Voici, Ryder says she left the jewels at the hotel's front desk for safekeeping. Hotel management , meanwhile, claims they never received the jewels, insisting that they have no surveillance footage showing Ryder handing over the diamonds. The jewels are reportedly still M.I.A. You'd think after her previous experiences, Winona would have a least gotten her story straight first. At least her name is staying in the news.

This is Eva Longoria Parker in Puerto Rico for the wedding of Without A Trace star Roslyn Sanchez's wedding. Eva smokes? Who knew.

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are trying to get two million dollars for the first pictures of the poorly named Bronx Mowgli. TWO MILLION DOLLARS for a picture of their kid? Who the hell cares about Ashlee and Pete? I'm going to be a a star f*cker in my next life.

With all that hair and make-up and her ridiculous styling, you forget that Christina Aguilera is a pop star who has talent. Every once in a while she reminds you of this. Check out Christina on the CNN Heroes Special. Ignore the hair though -she needs to give up on the blond.

This weekend there are three movies I want to see. I started out with Transporter 3. I know, I know. But I'm seriously considering giving up on Vin Diesel and replacing him with the hot piece of (short) ass that is Jason Statham. Cheesy action heroes -Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Dwayne Johnson, Gerald Butler... I've loved them all at one point. I think it stems from my love of fairy tales and being a feminist. If I'm going to be saved by some guy -and that's a big if ‘cause I can take care of myself- he better have a 6 pack, lots of muscles and a very big gun. But enough about my obvious issues and back to the movie. Jason Statham looks great. He sounds great -amazing voice on this one. If only he'd shave his head.... BUT There is one major flaw with this movie. Actually there is more than one major flaw but for argument sake, let’s keep it down to one. At some point, did the people making Transporter 3 realize that they didn't need a transporter? They could have locked the "package" in room and saved the gas money?

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Tom Cruise covers the Powerless Power Issue for Details magazine. I can’t believe I used to love this clown. Given that this was Thanksgiving in the United States, I find it funny that Tom Cruise stepped up his “game.” Tom Cruise has a lot to be thankful for. Family, health, wealth, a (once) successful career. Yes there have been set backs, we all get those. It’s how you manage through the hard times that show your true character. Tom Cruise has no f*cking character! Parading around Central Park with the Beckhams? I don’t understand why any of them did it. No wonder they all (except Tom) look so miserable. Paris Hilton does sh*t like this. Lindsay Lohan does sh*t like this. Jennifer Lopez used to do sh*t like this. But we don’t care about her anymore. Hint, hint Tom. When the fuck did Tom Cruise become so accessible to the paparazzi. Why is he parading Suri, like she’s a toddler Paris Hilton? What’s she going to do when some other celebrity kid usurps her throne as “Hottest Celebrity Baby”? The fucking therapy bills this kids going to have. Oh wait, she’s a Scientologist. Scrap that, they don’t believe in therapy. But Scientologist don’t “audit” for free do they? I think in a final act of desperation, Tom Cruise needs to take a page out of Billy Ray Cyrus’ playbook. When your career goes to hell, sign your kid over to Disney, and get co-starring and producing credit. Forget Britney. How the hell is this one going to end? Tom Cruise doesn’t strike me as the type to fade quietly into the night….

This is Britney getting ready for her London X Factor performance. Warming up in Germany and Paris to decidedly mixed results. But I must say she looks great. She looks better than she has in years. Her performances? Weak ass. But baby steps right? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she's not heading for another derailment. Maybe this isn’t too much, too soon. Maybe her “handlers” and therapist(s) know what they’re doing. Maybe jumping back on the wagon is just what Britney needs. Maybe Britney doesn’t need time to adjust to her new reality. Maybe they got the medication right the first time. Then again -I know “Crazy”. “Crazy” used to tuck me in at night. “Crazy” used to make my lunch. So when I say don't count out “Crazy”, I say this because I know “Crazy” is a hard muthaf*cker to keep down. Enjoy Britney. “Crazy” is just waiting to get your ass... again.

I know everyone has been going on about how Beyoncé has been stealing looks from other artists. For Example:

Jennifer Lopez Beyoncé

Kylie Minogue

Beyoncé

Kylie again

Beyoncé

Rihanna (but who can blame B on this one)

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I don't think the Beckhams wanted to be there.

Besides, this is not going to help Valkyrie's box office one bit.

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I know they call Paris Hilton "The Hollywood Ebola", but it would appear her strain is getting stronger as her celebrity gets weakers. This is Benji Madden before and after he started dating Paris Hilton.

It totally serves his ass right.

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I don't think anyone believes that alcohol was ever Lindsay Lohan's biggest problem. But when you are trying to restart your career, you'd think she would have the brains to stay drug and alcohol free for the next few years. Then again Lindsay's career seems to be hanging out at nightclubs for money. Here's a clip of Inside Edition making a big deal about Lindsay Lohan drinking and getting a lil love in the club...

WHICH ex-couple - an actor and a model - still share some aspects of their sex life? Both are known to sleep with a famous Lower East Side topless dancer who has a reputation of never going home alone . . . Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: How about Jeremy Pivin and Melrose Bickerstaff (ANTM) -both seem sleezy enough. WHICH TV host has such good rapport with his fetching female co-host that his wife has correctly guessed they're having an affair? Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: No clue.

One Two-Timing Blind Vice Been awhile since we heard from Fake-à-la Ferocity, I know. The babe who has used prescribed synthetic goodies to help her get off a nasty drug habit is two-timing her man, didn’t you know? No, not that hunk she’s got at home stashed in the fully toy-equipped bedroom, but her doctor, I mean. Turns out F.F. knows how to work her fierce femme charm on the good docs (a very old story in this town, right? Just ask Liz Taylor’s 263,000 docs if you don’t believe me). So you know the last Vice tale: Ms. Ferocity needed to get off her substantial habit so she could not only save her home life and marriage but make a movie, too. Thought nobody would notice that she went right back to using not that long ago. Yeah, right, exactly. So gotta get clean again! Yep, she’s back on the synthetic stuff, and not just with one doc but two. Two pro docs who don’t know about the other, by the by. Guess Ms. F. really likes to feel good when she’s feelin’ bad comin’ down from the hard stuff? I swear, it’s not the docs and the man at home, nor F.F.’s family, that’s gonna find out first how much crap she’s shooting into her bod, it’s gonna be the public, when she keels over dead one day. Jeez already, get help, woman! And It Ain’t: Felicity Huffman, Kate Bosworth, Ashley Olsen Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: Blond, TV and film actress, child star? I don't think this is Angelina. Previously I thought this was Nicole Ritchie, but now I am convinced it is Sarah Jessica Parker -which would explain the RDJ relationship.

Cougar Groove She's very well known to the public because she's related to a star. And, she's arrogant, unapproachable and aloof. You would think she was the celebrity in the family the way she acts.She's also known for losing her temper and she belittles people. The public would be shocked to know that this married woman, who pretends to be classy and conservative was in an ongoing affair with a much younger club promoter for at least two years.He even accompanied her on several vacations when her husband was away on business.She introduced him to friends as her "masseuse."She had him on an allowance of $6,000 per month for sexual services (a gigolo fee). Reportedly, this older woman was a wild cat in bed as if she was sexually starved. She even sent him flowers when he wasn't with her. Who is she? Hint: If you figure out the identity of the woman, you will come to the realization that this is a major scandal because of the "related to stardom factor." Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: Tina Knowles -Beyoncé's mother.

What up-and-coming young actor cheated on his girlfriend of 3 years and got a 23 year old waitress pregnant?????! His publicist is making him stay far away from the waitress, as they obviously don't want this to come out!!!! Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: Very confused here. People seem to think this is Zac Efron. I refuse to believe. Unless the girlfriend is a pre-op transvestite. My gaydar can't be slipping in my old age can it? Or is this some publicity stunt to make someone appear to be straight?

Breast feeding sucks, eh Gwyneth? I'm going to let Galliano slide here, because he's gay and an artiste. Charlize Theorin is under contract with Christian Dior so clearly she has no choice, but she looks like she wishes she weren't there.

Eva Longoria Parker has to wear Spanx? Or did someone recently have some lipo.Brandy can afford Louis Vuitton, a flat iron and a fresh pack of weave. But new jeans, apparently not.

Amy Winehouse in London. You know I don't think she's even trying with this sober thing.

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They finally gave Suri Cruise a coat! I'm so happy, I've decided not to question what the f*ck Katie Holmes is wearing. Baby steps people, baby steps.... I'm pretty sure that is a four hundred dollar Burberry coat Suri is wearing. We won't talk about my $40 (on sale!) GAP parka I wore to work this morning. I clearly have the wrong parents.

I'm old enough to remember when everyone loved Winona. Before the crazy shoplifting incident that shamed her out of the spotlight. The Daily Mail is reporting that the reason Winona Ryder fell ill on her British Airways flight to London, England yesterday is because of an "accidental overdose" on tranquillizers. Winona has so much going on, coupled with a probable fear of flying? I completely understand why she would need to drug up before the flight. Funny thing though. Neurotic and twenty was so cute. Neurotic and forty -no so much.

Can someone please translate this? Because I don't understand what the f*ck is going on here. Rihanna's "commercial" for Gucci's new Tattoo Hearts Collection benefiting UNICEF. It must be in Italian.

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This B- list R&B singer just had her second abortion that her A list producer/singer boyfriend made her get. He says he doesn't want anymore kids and that if she wants to be with him then she needs to stay childless. I don't know if she is on birth control or not. I just know the details of what happened. She did get a nice $200,000 piece of bling after the first abortion. No word on what she got after this most recent one. Gossip Wrap-Up! Guess: I don't usually post CDAN's blind items because he has so many comments but I needed to get a message out. Cassie, that baby is worth so much more alive than dead. You can't sing or dance, and the fact that you're having unprotected sex with Sean Combs is proof your dumber than dirt. For the love of God have the kid, and consider that your income for the next 18 years... after that you're f*cked.

Hooker Ashley Dupré had an interview with Diane Sawyer about her "occupation" and her time spent with former NY Governor Elliot Spitzer. I don't actually care what some hooker has to say, especially a whore who gets caught so publicly -how do you bring that home to mother. Being a whore is not an easy thing for people to forget. But she did say something interesting:

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...its "Sexiest Man Alive" -Hugh Jackman. Although he sets my gaydar off more than Zac Efron, I'm grateful that People Magazine didn't put Barack Obama on its cover.

Maybe I'm getting old but... Will someone please comb this white boy's hair? Thank you.

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According to Popcrunch.com, Zac Efron bought 'girlfriend' Vanessa Hudgens an antique Louis Vuitton steamer trunk, worth $50, 000. Gays buy the best gifts.

Why Redbook? Why? Mariah Carey is so not relevant. And why would Redbook readers give a damn.

Scarlett Johansson, Allure. This is the first time I've actually thought she looked pretty. She's overrated as all hell. But at least she looks beautiful here.

It doesn't really matter how "good" Jamie Fox looks. I can't help thinking that if you've seen the previews for The Soloist, this isn't what he's going to look like first thing in the morning.

Someone painted a picture of Nicole Kidman for Harper's Bazaar.

Jacked up wig. Check. Beyonce still not getting it right on the cover of German GQ .

Country Music fans are more forgiving than Black folks. They'll support anyone. Still don't know how this bitch has so many people fooled though. Carrie Underwood, Elle Magazine.

Crap like this is why I've stopped buying magazines. How can a girl with such a limited perspective and vocabulary do so many interviews (with the same damn magazine!). Jessica Simpson covers Cosmopolitan again.

Sure they didn't retouch. Kate Winslet on Vanity Fair.

Another photo that could pass for a advertising for photoshop. Angelina Jolie, Australia's Harper's Bazaar.

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Lisa Rinna recently saw a picture of herself and realized she's gone too far with the plastic surgery. Ya think?!

I was going to throw this photo of Beyoncé performing under my 'When Celebrities Have No Friends' Tag. But I think 'When Celebrities Try Too Hard' is more appropriate. Tacky ass clothing, too much weave and breast implants trying to escape? Beyoncé is positively 'Jessica Simpsoning' it these days. One of my favorite bloggers put up a link for an illegal download of Beyoncé new album, normally I don't steal music because after working on VideoFact music videos, I pity musicians. But Beeyaki owes me 12 bucks from her last piece of crap. If your wondering whether or not to shell out your hard earn dollars on I Am...Beyoncé, I Am.... Sasha Fierce. Don't. It's worse that B-Day. It's noise. It's a waste of effort on her part. I'm still trying to figure out why Beyoncé wastes so much time stealing crappy ass songs from struggling artists. She should stop worrying about getting writing credit and let the real writers write music for her. I just got a migraine looking at all that weave.

My love affair with bald men is officially done. So long Vin Diesel. Good bye Ami James. Scientologists ruin everything. Strangely, it's an improvement for Johnny, eh? I no longer think of him as a power bottom. Possible switch-hitter?

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Will and Jada cover the December issue of Essence Magazine. I used to love Will Smith. LOVE. When did Will Smith get gay face? Did he always have gay face? Damn you Tom Cruise! Damn you Blind Items!!

I am not the most stylish woman on the planet, but even I know f*ckery when I see it. And Beyoncé and Estelle performing at the MTV Europe Music Awards, are wearing pure f*ckery.

DNPOYS! Do Not Piss Off Your Stylist.

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Suri Cruise is barely three years old and she has already turned against the paparazzi. Next time you give someone the middle finger Suri, make sure your nail polish is on point.

Can someone explain why a cracked-out-diseased-scab-infested Amy Winehouse has better eyebrows than me? Where the hell is an Indian chick with a spool of thread when you need her.

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Work completely kicked my ass this week. It kicked it so bad, that it has me rethinking my core values. I recall one day in university, my Women’s Studies professor stormed into the class about 10 minutes late and said “F*ck this, I want to marry rich!” We all had a laugh -well all of us who weren’t die hard militant feminists. It’s taken a few years, but I totally understand what she meant. I need to respect the gold diggers of the world. I used to think it wasn’t worth the hard work chasing rich mean. But I suspect it’s a lot easier than earning it the old fashion way. This brings me to the extremely attractive, talented, articulate and positively cherry Simon Cowell. Did I mention attractive (ass kissing never hurts when dealing with celebrities). Simon broke up with his long time girlfriend Terry Seymour in September. Her parting gift for 6 years with Simon, about 8 million dollars in “cash and prizes”. I hate the bitch. For a million and change a year, I would take all the verbal abuse Simon has to offer. Hell, I'll take the abuse for a hell of a lot less than a million. My employer can vouch for that.